Please don't wait for me to get home to eat... from 5-6 I'm hosting a high school student as a favor to a friend. I'm going to show him around the office and give him some career advice (yes, yes, stop laughing).
Tell him you drank, didn't go to class, and bummed around Europe for two years as an excuse to avoid full time work. That will be very attractive. How you got to where you are today is still rather a mystery.
Oh, and then pull the horseshoe out of your ass and give it to him.
I probably would have taken offense at that if it wasn't so true...